Feeling a bit Screwed...But I will Rise Above it, and WIN!
Woke up with the worst headache I have had in probably seven years, perhaps more. I still have it, and I have to admit...I'M NOT ENJOYING IT!!!!
After I finish writing this I am going to finish putting up the last of the Christmas stuff up. Or not. Cannot seem to get it together at all, but I have promised myself next year is the reset button and I will get this finished and feel better about life.
This year was just, weird. Finding out my "mother" was a huge mother fucking liar, was kind of a shock to my nervous system.
On the same hand I got to meet a bunch of brothers and sisters that I never knew I had. And I all ready miss them all.
It has been a really weird year. Did I mention that?
I want to much more out of life, and I really am getting tired of not getting it. I mean I wanted a normal family life growing up. Lois screwed me out of that.
I wanted to be married once for the rest of my life. David screwed me out of that.
I wanted healthy kids that I could rely on in my old age...yep screwed out of that.
When I met Bill I wanted a real wedding with all the trimmings. SCREWED!
I even don't get all the time I should have with Bill because David wasted 11 years of my life...screwed, screwed and SCREWED!
My life is winding down and I feel so...wasted. My goal for 2016, (my reset button) is to put my head down and get as much done as possible.
My first priority is Glen. As of February 1st I will be on my lawyer like white on rice to get Glen's guardianship papers in order.
Well first in January I need to find Glen a adult program to go into after high school.
I will keep writing every day. Until I have something I can sell and I will keep doing that until I have some kind of career.
I will get my house in as perfect working order as possible.
I will get some health going and not feel crappy at Christmas next year.
I am just freaking out about this coming year with Glen finishing high school. So much to do, and I'm not too sure I'm up to it. But I will put on my big girl panties and make sure he gets the best we can give him.
Either way I am going to become a little bit of superwoman. Fingers crossed I can do it. Merry Christmas to us all and my big ideas. :)
After I finish writing this I am going to finish putting up the last of the Christmas stuff up. Or not. Cannot seem to get it together at all, but I have promised myself next year is the reset button and I will get this finished and feel better about life.
This year was just, weird. Finding out my "mother" was a huge mother fucking liar, was kind of a shock to my nervous system.
On the same hand I got to meet a bunch of brothers and sisters that I never knew I had. And I all ready miss them all.
It has been a really weird year. Did I mention that?
I want to much more out of life, and I really am getting tired of not getting it. I mean I wanted a normal family life growing up. Lois screwed me out of that.
I wanted to be married once for the rest of my life. David screwed me out of that.
I wanted healthy kids that I could rely on in my old age...yep screwed out of that.
When I met Bill I wanted a real wedding with all the trimmings. SCREWED!
I even don't get all the time I should have with Bill because David wasted 11 years of my life...screwed, screwed and SCREWED!
My life is winding down and I feel so...wasted. My goal for 2016, (my reset button) is to put my head down and get as much done as possible.
My first priority is Glen. As of February 1st I will be on my lawyer like white on rice to get Glen's guardianship papers in order.
Well first in January I need to find Glen a adult program to go into after high school.
I will keep writing every day. Until I have something I can sell and I will keep doing that until I have some kind of career.
I will get my house in as perfect working order as possible.
I will get some health going and not feel crappy at Christmas next year.
I am just freaking out about this coming year with Glen finishing high school. So much to do, and I'm not too sure I'm up to it. But I will put on my big girl panties and make sure he gets the best we can give him.
Either way I am going to become a little bit of superwoman. Fingers crossed I can do it. Merry Christmas to us all and my big ideas. :)
I have faith in you!
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