I am not smart.

I do not know what is wrong with me.  For some reason I had assumed that when my son finished school he might try to grow up a bit....Did I tell you I'm not smart?

His aide is not able to come today so I am alone with him.  Well I have Rachel and she isn't exactly a wealth of help.  He has attacked me once because I would not let him run around with shit in his pants.  (insert extreme sarcasm in the next line)

What was I thinking?  Don't we ALL have and want, a horses' amount of crap in our underwear?  Isn't that every adult's dream?

Okay I know he is autistic, and has some problem's grasping some things?  But crap should not be that hard to get. 

This is one of the many times I wish he would talk.  I want to hear WHY he has to argue with something simple like getting cleaned up.

I want to know so much about him, that unless he learns to communicate I will never know.  We have tried cards, machines and the only thing that works is some sign language, and he will only use that to get across his basic needs. 

Almost 18 years old and I'm still at a loss what to do with him. 

What is there left to do?

Just love him I guess.